I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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