We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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