Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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