i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize