I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
