guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
