A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
