This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize