this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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