dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
