Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
