Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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