You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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