please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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