This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
