dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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