I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
