We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
