Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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