I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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