come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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