we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
