does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Come see our sink grown plant.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
