i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
