God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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