Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize