this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
