If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
