i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
