Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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