why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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