I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
there's paper in my vomit.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize