Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
