Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
