Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
how drunk are you?
Several
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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