There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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