I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
