We're facebook friends in real life
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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