I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
