If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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