textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize