Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
