Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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