Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
