I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
