Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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