I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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