i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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