return my video game
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
