i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
