i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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