Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
