Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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