dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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