that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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