I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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