You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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