How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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