nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
