dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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